“In order to live a life of peace, harmony and flow, you must let go of expectations, fear and control.” Janet StraightArrow
Unfortunately we mix both in this life, which makes quite a mess. We want harmony in our self and family, and yet we also want others to live their life the way we know is best.
We control, expect and fear at every corner and do not see it because it is an integral part of the inner and outer landscape we live in.
To have peace with what is, takes a great deal of focus and choice. To learn to love people for who they are, and what they choose, takes strength to break from the old paradigm of codependence. Replace it with unconditional love,
Some of the most mentally intelligent people think they are supposed to force people to see their way and live their life according to family or friends. Emotional and spiritual intelligence and the laws of love know differently.
These people you care so much about will reject you and be angry with you because what you are offering is not love and respect it is judgment and control.
One family fable and rule is that the family has the right to make sure their members all agree on each person’s life. No!
Each person has a right to live their life any way they choose. That is our right of freedom to be, to choose and have our own experience. People, who are supposed to love and support you the most, too often ignore this basic human right of free will. Unconditional love means we do not control or judge.
Everyone has a right to be happy and to learn lessons and to hurt him or herself, if that is their choice as a way to live. Everyone is here for their own experience, not yours.
Our boundaries of loving care and concern turn into control very quickly. It is an old pattern needing to be changed for the good of all.
Who are you to have the right to have a say about someone else’s life? Instead of focusing on them, why don’t you focus on those areas of your own life? You will be surprised to find the truth in this every time.
This is the real message of your concern. It is also interesting to note that what upsets you most about other people, is exactly what you have to heal and change in you!
So all of that anger and flailing is the inner you needing attention and healing. Pointing fingers is best done towards yourself in a gentle loving way. Find the parts of you asking for help and happiness.
See others as a mirror for your inner discontent and suffering. Fixing them your way will not fill you up, there will always be something lacking for you to try to look outside of you to fix. There will always be a next thing wrong on the outside to fill it with.
It is amazing how self-healing is always the answer and the best part it is that you can control that, and it is the only way you will feel better.
When you let go of controlling someone else it makes it easier for them to make better choices because you are not sending negative energy and focus at them with your thoughts and words. You will also have better, happy, healthy relationships.
So it is win-win, you heal you and they are free to heal themselves and learn their own way with more support, instead of judgment and fear.
Try it. It works.
Peace, flow and harmony begin with you!
Enjoy the journey,
Be the Medicine, Living the Power of You!