Nice disease is often the first thing that comes up when people work with me in their healing. Its an adventure in discovery and honoring self and others in new ways. This allows freedom for everything else to easily unfold, heal and move forward in your life. I found this to be a root cause of disease, depression and pain in the body and life.
WHAT IS NICE?
Nice is a habit passed on from generation to generation of proper behavior that does not work. Its saying and doing what is expected by you and or others instead of being present and true. You did not make it up and you are not bad or wrong, so give up judgment and blame of self and read on.
Nice is being who you think you are supposed to be. What I speak of below is not conscious and yet affects all of us everyday. We are trained to say and do things we think we are supposed to, or to please others so we can be accepted, fit in, avoid punishment or judgment and get what we want-approval and more. It may not be obvious to us and we have no mal-intent, and yet being nice is not true to us or others.
As I work with clients they are the most caring loving people I know which is why they are willing to look deeper. When we go through areas where things are not working in their life, relationships and health, it is in not being fully aware of being nice instead of true that the hang ups and blocks are found.
One illusion known or unknown when we are nice is; if I am good enough and sweet enough and do, say or act what I assume others want I will get what I want without asking for it.
This is a trained pattern of behavior that is such a part of us it takes a bit of unraveling to see where you are not true to you and others, and choose to break the pattern because it is hurtful and not helpful and not “nice” at all.
Being nice as a way to please and be accepted is a circuitous route for sure and one that leaves us waiting and wanting and creates unhappiness in others as well.
A big sticking point for this is in family and close relationships. We want everyone to get along and play their part in a loving relationship so we keep the peace that becomes less and less peaceful.
We may have someone being a bully to us and put us down and hurt us and instead of putting up boundaries, we try to make them happy. This nice tears us down and hurts all.
Being nice is inauthentic, not being true to you or others. Again there is no judgment here and yet being nice is a big fat liar guised in the clothing of little red riding hood bringing a basket of supposed goodies full of un nice feelings, unmet expectations and desires.
FROM DIS-EASE TO DISEASE TO FLOW
Nice people do not want to make waves and yet waves are made inside their body, mind and emotions because underneath they are frustrated and angry people. No wonder we get depressed, diseases like cancer, major and minor body-mind-emotional malfunctions, and horrific body pain, autoimmune diseases and joint aches.
Dis-ease is normal for a nice person because they do not want to confront others or themselves. Some symptoms are always being on edge, not understanding why people are attacking or mean, never satisfied and blaming you or others for not doing it right or valuing you. Didn’t they read the rulebook; don’t they see how good and caring you are?
No! Even in the best of circumstances you are trying to please instead of knowing how to say yes or no or express what is for you. The truth is you are unknowingly manipulative, controlling, confused yourself, and not “nice’ at all.
Trying to make peace instead of seeing true create chaos for us and all. Learning to break the rules we have been taught, to fake it just to keep the peace, instead of putting up boundaries and finding your truth, frees you from this terrible pain and suffering.
Wanting life and people to be how we think it is supposed to be, and acting how we think we are supposed to act, takes an inordinate amount of our time and mental and emotional and physical energy.
Instead of feeling victimized by others who do not appreciate our niceness, we realize that they feel the truth of what we are thinking and projecting on them. When things are not what we think they should be as a result of our sacrifice, the emotional energy underneath that sweet exterior they feel we might be mad or frustrated and hear the (!@#$%^&*) of anger…even if we do not realize because we are saying the right things.
If we have a lot of anxiety and fear in our life it is because we have been out of alignment with our truth and trying to fake it, deny it or make life bend to our desired reality.
HOW TO BE TRUE, KIND, AUTHENTIC AND YOU.
Are you willing to change and be more free and happy?
Go inside and find out why you are people pleasing instead of being authentic.
Ask yourself what are you afraid of losing?
Ask why are you afraid to speak truth and do or say things that please you?
Notice when you feel angry, hurt or unhappy and check in to see if you are honoring what you know to be true for you?
This is well worth exploring and making changes for your peaceful, happy, life and health. Depression, disease and pain are rooted in mental and emotional disconnection and living against yourself.
Love yourself enough to change your orientation from being nice, to being in balance. Seeing no one as the enemy, allow yourself to stand back and look at your life from a new perspective.
Telling the truth is often not mean as you might fear, but instead looking inside to see where you need to be aware, take care of you, and not project or expect from another.
What do you want and need that is not working in your life?
Instead of looking at another to fulfill that, look at yourself.
If relationships are the issue see what your part is in it rather than attacking another.
You are the captain of your own life. Grab the wheel, point towards your greatest good and joy, and chart a new course.
When you do, you will be happy, clear, kind, loving and free.
Blessings on your journey,
Be the Medicine, Living the Power of You!
Janet StraightArrow is a master at helping you sort out illusion in your life with great love, joy and respect, and helps you get on track with you to be happy and healthy and free! Being stuck is an illusion too, you can just open the doors of fear you have kept shut and find a clear path ahead.
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